Distance Between Many Points

Continuing from my last post, the situation with my dad isn't as bad as thought. He told me he actually flew down south more than he drove, so there wasn't much of a change needed anyway. Even with that out of the way, I still can't stop feeling helpless and useless in this time. Sure, I'm recycling more than I was, and I'm mowing my lawn with a push mower now--the physical stuff is good for my body anyways. This uselessness I'm feeling is a more emotional one than anything.

Even though I might be doing something locally to conserve gas, is what I'm doing actually any good? I mean, just because I'm doing something small doesn't mean everyone else will. The gallon of gas I willingly cut back on may just be used by someone else who hasn't cut back at all. Despite all the good the Netizens have tried to do, with all the sacrifices they have made, there are still those who act like nothing is happening, and just ignore everything around them in an act of selfishness.

Think about it; right now, nearly 20 million people in New York have to live in constant fear and loathing for the eventual day they cannot get the fuel they need. Some are already living in that nightmare already, while the nightmare is just around the corner for others. Meanwhile, here I am, making a post on the Internet, where less than one-hundredth of a percent of NYC's population is reading it. Is it alright if I feel that my actions are somewhat in vain?

Furthermore, what have I done to establish myself as reliable to you other Heroes? I could just be lying out my ass for all you know. I guess the only thing I can hope for is that you trust me enough to help out in this crisis. Still, trust might not be enough when you have to constantly look over your shoulder for signs of robbery and theft. If what I've heard is true, then things are just going to get worse from here on out.

Then there's the thing with my family. We already have to drive to see each other, and now I can barely see them at all. I'm forced to talk over the phone, when I want to see them in person. I'm not comfortable with a cell phone as it is, just complicating things even more.What if something happens to them, and I need to see them as soon as possible? Will our lack of oil and foresight stop me from seeing my family again? Just another worry I guess, just another addition to my fears of losing those closest to me and having to move on without them.

I apologize, but I needed to get that off my chest. I can't think of anything intelligent to say this week. Just keep those you love close to you, and never forget that they are what is important. I feel that the world will soon fall into chaos around us, and there will be casualties. No riot has gone without at least one. Direct others to this site, so they may help in the crisis of oil management. The more we have to help, the more positive our efforts will be. Keep in mind those suffering from a weakening economy, those who live in large areas where gas is already at a premium. Once the nightmare strikes the world, they will be the first to know.

Distance Between Two Points

Good news and bad news coming down the pipeline this week. Most of it involves my dad and the pressure on him to travel everywhere in a week.

For those who don't know, My parents have been divorced for a few years now. It should be around four this month. My mother and him were living separately for a while before that. The whole thing put a scar on me that I still feel once in a while. I remember once incident in particular when I was thirteen or fourteen, during my religious education class. My parents were going to have their divorce hearing that day, and I was bummed out to say the least. Before I know it, I'm sitting in the bathroom in tears over the whole thing, at a point where everything was too much to handle. The hearing was moved, so I was relieved for a little. Even if the divorce did happen eventually, I at least got to see my dad on a weekly basis. I feel sorry for kids in my position who see their parents less often, or never get to see them again after walking out that door for the last time. Those kids need the support as well, whether from their family or friends.

With these prices going up the way they are, I have a feeling the distance between my father and I might get wider. He lives only a half-hour away, but I don't know how long he intends to stay there. He has talked about moving somewhere less expensive than Jersey, and with his job the way it is, he might move closer to North Carolina. Topped with the prices getting out of hand, our time together might only get shorter than it already is. Talking to him by phone is better than not talking at all, but I would like to see him in person. I'm a lot more comfortable talking to him directly than over a phone, and i don't want that to change.

I suppose the only good news to come out of all this is also for my dad. Since fuel is so damn expensive, my dad's boss has decided to have him fly down south for business instead of driving down like he normally does. I guess he figured driving all that way wasn't really a good idea with fuel the way it is. I am glad at least one thing is working out for my dad.

The same doesn't look to apply to me though. A few of my family members are considering moving in the near future, some to places farther away from my house than they currently are. If they decide to do so, the distance between me and everyone other than me will just increase. Not being able to see my family as often is something I would rather live without.